This Just In...

To the surprise of absolutely no one, Stephen Jackson has just been ejected from Bobcats-Bucks game for unnecessary verbage.

Given that the Bucks do not have the services of Andrew Bogut, Corey Maggette, Drew Gooden, Carlos Delfino and Michael Redd tonight, this at least gives the game a whiff of competitiveness. On the plus side for Milwaukee, they do get Chris Douglas-Roberts (CDR me ASAP) back tonight. On the debit side, their offensive game is atrocious, with a league low 41% fg on the season. Thank god they're playing defense this year.

More details as events warrant.

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking

Well, it's been happier in the Mark/Kristina house since both the Cowboys and the Irish started winning. For what it's worth, the Irish are now bowl-eligible (whether or not a team with 6 wins should be eligible for a bowl is a topic for another day), and they seem to have found a winning quarterback with Tommy Rees.

Let's discuss the NFC East a little. Surprisingly, the Giants are the LEAST entertaining team in that division this year. They win, they lose, whatever. But the other three . . . wow. The Cowboys have turned around from being absolutely abysmal under Wade Phillips, to winning convincingly and impressively, under Jason Garrett, in the last two weeks. Now here's what I don't understand. Jason Garrett was the offensive coordinator prior to becoming the interim head-coach. So he was calling the offensive plays when the Cowboys were sucking (and make no mistake about it: the offensive coaching DID suck for their first eight games). And Garrett is still play-calling, but now they're winning. Does anyone else find that suspicious? I hate to accuse the guy of shenanigans, but is it possible he was purposefully (or even sub-consciously) sabotaging the Cowboys' offense in order to get rid of Wade? I don't know, but it seems a bit hinky to me.

Thankfully, the Redskins are doing their best to make everyone look good. I'm truly surprised Shanahan had a job after being trounced, embarrassed and murdalized by the Eagles two weeks ago. One would think, after a 59-28 loss to a division rival AT HOME, the Redskins would come out against against the Titans in a RAGE, raring to go, and furious to recover their good (?) name. Instead, they trickled to a sparse 19-16 win in overtime against a team without an actual quarterback. And they looked as lame and lackluster as they had against the Eagles. Knowing Dan Snyder as I do (we're like THIS), I don't think Mike Shanahan can count on much of a future with the Redskins.

So, how about them Eagles, eh? I'm not an Eagles fan by any stretch of the imagination, but even I have to admit, they are absolutely AMAZING to watch these days. The defense is solid, as usual, but the offense is absolutely explosive. And it's pretty much all due to the reinvention of Michael Vick as an elite quarterback. And I have to say, I couldn't be happier. I'm going to wax a bit rhapsodic, because I really feel like it's deserved here. Look, I have two dogs, that I love like my children. I hate what Vick did, and I thought he absolutely deserved to go to prison for it. But I also believe in second chances. When Vick came out of prison, and started working with the ASPCA, and making amends for what he'd done, I wanted him to succeed, because I want to believe that people can learn from their mistakes, and grow from them. And then he became the starting quarterback this year (mostly through default and injury), and I haven't stopped being impressed with the person Vick seems to have become. He seems humbled, and truly willing to work to become a better person. It's not just that his interviews, either. Vick is a completely different quarterback. The Vick who started in Atlanta had poor mechanics, was undisciplined, inaccurate, and too quick to run. The Vick starting in Philadelphia thinks the plays through, checks down to all his receivers, and tries to make the play on with his arm (11 passing TDs in seven games), rather than his feet. Not that there's anything wrong with his feet (five rushing TDs is nothing to sniff at).

The lesson to be learned here, is, change does not come overnight, and neither does redemption (take note, Ben Roethslisberger). Vick lost everything: his job, his money, his friends and his freedom, and he deserved every bit of it. But rather than come out of prison and go right back to being proud, surrounding himself with the same bad influences, and making the same bad choices, he's decided to be contrite and humble, and change his life. I really hope it's true, and permanent. I love a second chance made good.

Well. That was a lot of love. Now for some snark:
Sure, Richard Seymour should not have slapped Ben Roethlisberger. But as someone who's often wanted to slap Big Ben, I was not-so-secretly pleased.
Will Miami ever find a quarterback? Will he be as fragile as a glass menagerie? Will his name also be Chad? Stay tuned for the exciting answers to these questions (yeah, probably not . . . I don't really care about the 'Fins).
I love the Cowboys, but the Lions were, again, killed by a bad ruling. Note to the refs: tackling by hair-pull is legal. Check your books.
Why won't someone just humor me, and beat the Jets? They're really not that good, people. Get on it!
The annual Pats/Colts showdown was every bit as good as billed. Too bad Peyton felt the need to channel Favre and throw a pick at the end.
Mark has Phillip Rivers on his fantasy team, and needed 70 points from him to win. Rivers only got 4 touchdowns and 233 yards passing (25 points). It's like he wasn't even trying!

And that was week 11. See you after week 12. Enjoy the glut of turkey and mashed potatoes!

The Crap Line

It's a phenomenon I've stumbled across in my adult life when purchasing various used goods. Houses, computers, guitars and other sundry items on the market all fall on one side or the other of the titular Crap Line, the financial demarcation between a solid item with little-to-no issues and the somewhat serviceable unit with a few "buts" in the description.

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In the world of sports, the Crap Line (CL) concept manifests itself in many different ways. Each professional draft has a retroactively-assigned CL. For the 2000 NBA draft, which featured lottery picks Stromile Swift, Chris Mihm, and DerMarr Johnson, the CL was actually between the first and second selections.

Sabremetricians have quantified the CL in the form of the VORP (Value over Replacement Player) statistic, which I understand in theory but not in mathematics. Essentially, it defines the contributions of a player above the available replacement at his position. Other times, it comes down to a matter of feel and impression. What is the QB rating CL for a starting NFL quarterback? What about rebounds for a starting NBA power forward? Assists for a Point Guard? Batting average for a #3 hitter?

Take an NBA starting-quality shooting guard, for example. We're not talking Wade or Tyreke Evans, but a solid not-to-be embarrassed-by shooting guard. Since the job description implies "shooting" which by extension means scoring, what is an acceptable PPG? I've always placed this number at 14. 14 ppg sounds respectable for this position. 13 sounds like a 10 ppg guy who's having a good year, but 14 is just a layup away from 16 a night and some significant free agent offers.

Some players are the actual embodiment of the CL, the physical boundary between playoff competence and can't-we-do-better(?). Put simply, if a team is within sniffing distance of a decent playoff run, what position does it look to upgrade? If its your position, you may be on the wrong side of the Crap Line.

Since we've discussed the NBA already, here is the 2010 NBA CL Starting-But-Maybe-They-Shouldn't-Be Team:

Point Guard: Sebastian Telfair - T-Wolves. The oft-travelled 'Bassy is a prime example of the CL boundary. Good backup, questionable starter, serviceable-if-undersized pro point guard.

Shooting Guard: Vince Carter-Magic. Averages the near perfect 13.9 ppg, and shows periodic interest in passing, rebounding, or defense.

Small Forward: Udonis Haslem - Heat. The Zeppo Marx of the Miami Heat.

Power Forward: Hakim Warrick - Suns. I'd call him the Tim Thomas of the 2010's, but I do like Warrick, and no one forced that contract on him.

Center: Anderson Varejao - Cavaliers. Probably a better forward than a center, and probably a better backup than a starter.

Castles Made of Sand...

Three years ago I remember sitting in front of my television, shaking my head in disbelief at the discussion going on between NBA draft prognosticators.  "Greg Oden is the real deal!  This guy is a franchise cornerstone!  The Blazers would have to be out of their minds to take Kevin Durant over this guy!"  Oops.

I don't get to say this very often - especially about basketball - but, I told you so.  Well, not you, but my television and my dogs at least.  I couldn't understand why people thought a 275-pound dude with a 50-year-old face and tooth-picks for legs was the heir-apparent to Shaquille O'Neal.  Three years, 82 games (of a possible 248) and about $12 million later, Portland announced this morning that Oden will have his third micro-fracture surgery in three years, and miss the rest of the season.  Again.  It's like Grant Hill all over again.

The NHL is changing the way it selects the all-star teams.  The pool of players will still be chosen in the usual manner.  But then two captains will be chosen from the pool, and those players will be responsible for picking their teammates.  Like street hockey.  (Or pond hockey, if you're from Manitoba, like me.)  On a professional level.  I love this idea.  At first I thought well, the obvious choices for captain are Crosby and Ovechkin.  Then I read some thing that changed my mind.  One sports writer suggested only one of them be chosen captain.  Then we'd get to see if one would actually pick the other.  What if Ryan Miller is a captain?  Does he pick Crosby?  Would Crosby pick his own goaltender, or a good one?  Is it physically possible for Daniel Sedin and Hendrik Sedin to play on different teams?  Seriously, everybody should do this.  The NBA for example.  Kobe and D-Wade for captains.  Does Kobe pick LeBron?  Who's mister irrelevant?  Shaq?  Does Kobe pick him, then sit him on the bench?  You want drama?  I give you drama.

Oh, and a note to Todd Haley.  You coach professional football.  These aren't kids anymore, they're grown-ass men.  If you don't like the other guy running up the score, stop him from scoring.  Period.  

Hindsight is 30-30

I never thought I'd include the Knickerbockers in two consecutive posts, but I never thought Kevin Love would have a 20-20 game, much less a 30-30 evening. He joins an exclusive club populated by a lot of first-name-only members (Kareem, Moses, Wilt). Most 30-30's occurred in a different statistical era (more on that later) with the most recent being when "E.T" was in a theater near you.

In today's NBA, some teams don't pull down thirty rebounds in an entire evening. In fact, Love outrebounded three different franchises last night. The Knicks, for their part, recorded 43 rebounds in the contest versus 56 for the T-Wolves.

So how did this happen? Well, since rebounds are a function of missed shots, poor shooting would be the prime suspect. Both teams obliged, with the Knicks shooting 38% to the T-Wolves 43% and tossing up a LOT of shots in the process. The NBA averaged 82 shots/game for 2009-2010 season - the Knicks chucked up 92 shots last night while the Wolves attempted 101. It also helps to be playing a banged up Knicks team without a real center and a foul-laden Amar'e Stoudamire.

What is truly amazing about Love's performance is that he achieved it in this era. During the 50s and 60s, thirty-thirty games happened at least a half-dozen times or so a season, mostly by some guy named Wilt. From 1969 through 1979 the phenomenon tapered off to a two-or-three-a-year-if-at-all occurrence. Teams shot a lot more in the pre-Watergate era. In 1970-1971, the NBA averaged 99 shots per game compared to 82 last year on 45 & 46% shooting, respectively. In case you were wondering (and even if you weren't,) 1970-1971's 30-30 games were recorded by Willis Reed and Elvin Hayes.

So a big tip of the cap to Kevin Love. I projected him on draft day as being somewhat along the lines of the next Tom Gugliotta. Or Chris Mihm. If you'd have asked me before the season what player (forward or center) could grab 30 boards in a game, Kevin Love would have been pretty far down the list (Top 3: Dwight Howard, David Lee, Joachim Noah. Last 3: Anderson Varejao, Charlie Villaneuva, Troy Murphy.) I'm not ready to crown him the second coming of Kevin McHale or even Bill Laimbeer, but kudos to Mr. Love for a career night.

Too Sad to Write

You may (or may not) have noticed that I have had very little to say about sports in the last month or so. This is because my beloved Cowboys and Irish are so bad, I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning. The stink is so profound, it's put a layer of funk on all sports for me right now. I'm in recovery, though. Teams come and go. Season records wax and wane. This too shall pass (I hope). I'm even planning a spectacular Favre-Jets-NFL-pretty girls smackdown. It will undoubtedly be epic and awesome, as long as I finish before Saturday/Sunday, when my boys will undoubtedly depress me all over again.

In the Knick of Time

The Milwaukee Bucks are playing the New York Knickerbockers tonight. This in itself is not really noteworthy as it happens several times a year, but as I pondered the matchups I realized I could name exactly as many people on the Knicks roster (Amare Stoudemire) as on their broadcast team (Walt "Clyde" Frazier.)

UPDATE: After half a quarter, I can safely say that Raymond Felton is also a Knick, but the other three guys on the floor are still a mystery. I just heard the name Ton(e)y Douglas, but he may be the trainer. Updates as events warrant.

The Knicks have come under some criticism in recent years for player personnel decisions, much in the same way Lindsay Lohan has been criticized for her leisure time activities. The proud franchise of Monroe, Reed and Bradley became the NBA Superfund site for bad contracts with Isaiah Thomas as its chief administrator. Thankfully, Thomas later went on to a successful career in the mortgage industry.

THIS JUST IN: Ronny Turiaf is also a Knick. So is someone named Chandler, but I'm not sure if its Tyson Chandler, Wilson Chandler, Wes Chandler or Chandler Bing.

Back to the rant: Yes, its easy (reallllllly easy) to pick on Isaiah Thomas' tenure with the Knicks. Not-shooting-fish-in-barrel easy, more like standing-near-a-barrel easy. Having Eddy Curry and Stephon "Starbury" Marbury on the same roster should have given someone, anyone, pause, but apparently the theory two negatives make a positives (and, by extension, a whole butt-load of negatives makes even more positives) held sway at Madison Square Garden (which is a round building with no garden of any kind). Steve Francis, anyone? Tim Thomas, Quentin Richardson? Zach Randolph? Jerome James? Lottery-protect that draft pick traded in the Eddy Curry transaction? Nah, not necessary.

UPDATE: It is indeed Wilson Chandler, and I've been informed that Wes Chandler retired in the 1980s from the San Diego Chargers.

So...the roster has been blown up, and the Knicks have a lot of unfamiliar names and draft picks getting a ton of playing time. Mike D'Antoni will assure an uptempo entertaining game featuring very little defense. Buy your programs!

Fair to Midling

This weekend marked the midway point of the NFL season.  I know, football is half over and it's killing me.  So, what have we learned.

Well, Sunday was a bad day to be a Cowboy.  Real bad.  The Green Bay Packers utterly embarrassed the Dallas Cowboys 45-7, on a balmy November evening at Lambeau Field.  And that score does not accurately reflect just how awful Dallas was.  It was as if the entire team just got up to get some nachos halfway through the first quarter and never bothered coming back.  The (lack of) effort was epitomized by Dallas cornerback Michael Jenkins displaying his best Deion Sanders impression in obviously and deliberately avoiding any attempt to tackle Greg Jennings on his way into the end zone.  Like most other observers, I don't understand what's with this team.  I have a couple theories, most involving too many Cowboys stars reading their own pre-season press clippings and believing their own hype, but I can't say anything for certain.  Well, except for the fact that I don't think firing Wade Phillips - as happened Monday afternoon - and replacing him with the offensive coordinator who orchestrated a grand total of seven points Sunday night, will do much to right the ship.  I think the Cowboys are at the point were they seriously need to look at firing some players.  I'd like to suggest starting with Terrence Newman and Michael Jenkins.

As bad as it was to be a Cowboy, it was worse to be Randy Moss.  After publicly insulting a Minneapolis restaurant owner providing lunch to the team, then professing his undying love to his former Patriots teammates after stinking up the joint against New England last Monday night, Moss found himself on the waiver wire Tuesday morning, and on an airplane to Tennessee by Thursday night.  In case you're counting, that makes three different teams and two Hall-of-Fame quarterbacks in five weeks.  Anybody remember when this guys was just really good at playing football?

Over the past three games, the Cleveland Browns have defeated two Super Bowl champions and gave a third a run for its money.  Last week the Saints went down in flames as Drew Brees threw two interceptions to the same linebacker for 12 points against.  Sunday afternoon it was Tom Brady's turn.  Brady, and ten other guys named Moe, could muster on 14 points against a Cleveland team that posted 34 of them, and did it with guys named Peyton Hillis, Chansi Stuckey and Colt McCoy.  Seriously.  Chansi.  Oh, and how stupid must the Denver Broncos feel at this point?  They traded a running back that cannot be tackled, for a quarterback they don't even want warming their bench.  Oddly enough, that probably isn't the dumbest thing Josh McDaniels had done since taking over as head coach.

I realize I'm probably the only person east of Boise that cares about this, but how can the Seattle Seahawks continue to be so terrible?  Less than five years ago this teams was getting screwed out of a Super Bowl victory by some of the worst officiating in the history of officiating.  What happened?  How do you go from a 12-4 record and four consecutive NFC championships to getting torched by a total of 74-10 by the Raiders and Giants over the course of two weeks?  I understand it can get a little dreary out there, but come on.  They get forty feet of snow in New England, and that doesn't seem to bother them.  Get it together!

While we're discussing atrocious football teams, how can the Chicago Bears still be leading their division?  The only thing that team does well is throw interceptions and fumble the football.  I guess it helps that they beat the Lions on a stupid technicality and survived a Buffalo Bills home game in Toronto (what?).  If someone had told you at the start of the season that by week nine, the Colts and Bears would have the same record, you would have shipped them off to Siberia.  Yet, here we are.

I don't think these words have been uttered since 1984, but right now, the Oakland Raiders might be playing the most exciting football in the league.  With a quarterback nobody wanted, receivers nobody's heard of, and a defense nobody respects, they are a half game out of first place in a completely upside-down AFC West.  Not too shabby.

Speaking of a quarterback nobody wants, how about those Washington Redskins, huh?  Look, I don't know that I care that Mike Shanahan benched Donovan McNabb last week.  He's the coach, so I guess he can make whatever personel decision he wants to.  But I can't help but question the wisdom of benching a four-time conference champion, six-time pro bowler and Super Bowl quarterback, and replacing him with one Rex Grossman - who promptly turned the ball over the Ndamukong Suh for the game-sealing touchdown.  Then, to make things worse, Shanahan delivered no fewer than three different - and let's be honest, bogus - explanations as to why he did so.  Rumor has it that Shanahan the lesser does not now feel and has never felt that McNabb is suited to the offense he wants to run.  Hmm.  If that's the case, perhaps the Shanahans should have spent millions of dollars recruiting someone other than the guy they apparently never wanted.  I guess the statement is true; Washington really doesn't work.

Finally, to all the NFL fans in London and around the United Kingdom.  On behalf of all of us here in America, I apologize for saddling you with the San Fransisco 49ers and Denver Broncos.  I swear we can do better than that.  Hope fully next year we'll send you something interesting.  Like maybe the Bengals and the Lions, or something like that.  Kidding.  Just messing with you.