Nickname Crisis

The Packers debuted the Quinn Johnson/John Kuhn backfield this evening. NFL rules require a nickname (Thunder and Lightning, Slash and Dash, to name a few) so here goes:

Chocolate & Thunder

Marble Rye

Blockade Runners

Slow and Slower

Brick House

Quinn Kong

Open to suggestions.

The Irish Experience

In just three hours, I will embark on the Notre Dame gameday experience. A friend called yesterday with an extra ticket, and with pleasant weather on tap and no real commitments I gladly accepted the honor.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am, at best, ND Football ambivalent. Being born and raised in Badger football country where expectations are tempered by painfully realistic assesments of talent and opponents and there is no such thing as a bad bowl game, the Notre Dame football culture is very different.

For many ND faithful the expectations are for a National Championship or at the very least a BCS Bowl Game. A "down" season of 8-4 or 7-5 (which Badger fans would have killed for in the late 1980s) gets the coaching seat mildly uncomfortable.

High expectations often lead to impressive results and confidence is an admirable quality, but I can't help but think back to Bucky's three Rose Bowl seasons where they were the Rodney Dangerfield of the Big Ten. ESPN's Craig James proclaimed UW's 1998 team the "worst team to ever pay in a Rose Bowl" just prior its 38-31 victory over a Cade McNown-led UCLA team. (Note to Chicago Bears: Cade McNown got outplayed by Mike Samuel in the biggest game of his college career. It's called an omen.) Everyone loves an underdog, and it a measure of a great team in how it faces adversity.

So I am going for the full-pull of ND football: Tailgating, the campus experience and post game hoo-hah. My previous college football experiences include Michigan at UW in 1993 where a couple of students received severe injuries when the fans stormed the field (I was seated two sections over, thank god), Wash St.-ND in the early 2000s, and UW-IU in Bloomington last year, which was a bunch of fun and a great atmosphere in a mid-major setting, kind of college football-lite.

More on this later.

I Love Being Right

As Mark pointed out below, the Eagles have decided to start Michael Vick next week, even after all the "Kevin Kolb is our starting quarterback no matter what!" posturing.

Here's the story.

Did I mention how I love being right?

Week 2... in Review

All right.  Week 2 of the NFL season is in the books.  So, what did we learn this week?


Denver is a tough place to play football.  And it has nothing to do with the altitude.  Broncos wide receiver Kenny McKinley became the third Bronco to die in the past four years.  I intentionally avoided the term “pass away,” because passing away implies some sort of peace and acceptance of fate.  There was nothing peaceful about any of these incidents.  Darrent Williams was shot to death in a drive-by, Damien Nash was struck with a heart attack after a basketball game, and McKinley died of what appears to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.  I’ll be the first to admit, I have a difficult time understanding what drives a professional athlete in the prime of his life with so much to live for to take his own life.  But I do know a little bit about feelings of depression, and I understand that the inability of too many men to talk to anyone – let alone someone they trust and care for – about how they feel and what they are experiencing, only serves to make a bad situation worse.  There is nothing wrong with or “weak” about admitting to someone that something is wrong and seeking out help to deal with it.  We should never have to hear another wife or mother say, “…we had no idea anything was wrong.”

Perhaps, just maybe, Brett Favre should have gone to training camp.  Watching the Vikings lose first to New Orleans and now Miami, it’s painfully obvious that the quarterback and the receivers simply aren’t on the same page.  They’re still trying to work out timing issues they could have worked out in the two months of practice prior to the start of the season, if only they had all been at those practice sessions.  I know there are still 14 games to play, but Minnesota already shares the Norris division cellar with the Detroit, and if they can’t work out the kinks in the next couple weeks, they will be looking at a lost season.  Oh, and by the way, has anyone seen Adrian Peterson?

The Detroit Lions are fun to watch.  They wouldn’t know how to win if victory beat them over the head with a stick, but they’re fun to watch.  Jahvid Best is the most entertaining Lion since Barry Sanders (no, I’m not comparing the two), and Ndamukong Suh and Kyle Vanden Bosch are having a helluva good time turning offensive linemen and quarterbacks into pancakes.  When this team finally figures out how to stop beating themselves, they might be a force in this league.

For a lesson in how to win a football game, see the Houston Texans defeat of the Redskins on Sunday afternoon.  Down 17 points at the end of the third quarter they finally took the diapers off, put on the pull-ups and fought back to beat Washington in overtime.  The Texans of 2009 would have lost that game.  One might call that progress.

But all is not well in the Lone Star State.  There’s really no delicate way to put this.  Right now, the Dallas Cowboys suck.  They can’t run, they can’t catch, they can’t cover, they can’t tackle, and they certainly can’t block.  They’ve had more penalties called on them in two games than there are silicone implants in the state of Texas.  And the worst part is that it’s costing them $160 million in salary to be winless and miserable.  I really don’t know what happened.  Marion Barber looks like he’s running in molasses and Felix Jones looks like LenDale White prior to giving up tequila and sugary snacks.  The offensive linemen physically cannot stop themselves from holding opposing defensive players, and Roy Williams seems to have soaked his hands in WD40.  To be fair, the Cowboys haven’t been able to cover anybody since Deion Sanders left town for Washington.  But that didn’t matter when they were putting up 30 points per game.  All of a sudden it’s a big freakin’ deal.  Fortunately for Dallas, no one in their division is significantly better than they are, so they still have a chance to right the ship.  But they might have to throw some people overboard in order to do it.

If I had told you two weeks ago that at this point, the Seattle Seahawks would be the class of the NFC West, you would have stuffed me with a dozen maple bars and sent me packing.  Oops.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not pretty.  They’re not in first place because they’re any good.  They’re in first place because everyone else is just that bad.  It might as well be them and three Xerox copies of the Cleveland Browns.

The Baltimore Ravens offense is as depressing as it’s defense is impressive.  Oddly enough, the same can be said for two of the three other teams in the division.  AFC North football isn’t pretty either, but NOBODY wants to play the Steelers, Ravens or Bengals defenses.  Man it feels weird to mention defense and Bengals in the same sentence.

What a difference a week makes.  Ten days ago, Tom Brady lit up Cincinnati for 30 plus points.  This past Sunday the Patriots crumbled before the almighty Sanchez and his Revis-less Jets.  Some – my wife in particular – blame the loss on Brady’s ridiculous prepubescent haircut.  If not for a pathetic performance by an (almost) all rookie New England secondary I might be inclined to agree.  Is it time to consider the notion that perhaps Bill Belichick might not be the genius we’ve cracked him up to be?

How’s that “Man-genius” mantle working out for Eric Mangini in Cleveland?

Late last year, after Jake Delhomme continued to insist on completing passes to opposing defensive backs, John Fox benched him in favor of some dude from Oregon State named Matt Moore.  In the final four games of the season, against three absolutely worthless opponents and New Orleans’ third string defense, Moore put up some respectable numbers.  Instead of understanding that production for what it was and pursuing a real quarterback in the off-season, John Fox decided he had found his quarterback of the future and handed Moore the keys to the offense, which Matt Moore promptly crashed into a tree.  Over the course of two games, Moore has three times as many turnovers as touchdowns.  In fact, for every four completed passes he’s either turned the ball over or been sacked three times.  That’s JaMarcus Russell territory people.  Next Sunday Jimmy Claussen will get his chance to continue to ruin Steve Smith’s career.

Kudos to the Dallas Cowboys medical staff refusing to allow Jason Whitten to re-enter the game after he suffered what appeared to be a concussion.  It takes guts to stick to your guns and keep a superstar on the sidelines in a big game for his own good when you know both the player and the owner care more about winning the game than correctly treating a head injury.  Jeers to Brandon Jacobs for throwing his helmet six rows into the stands Monday night and bitching about the fan not wanting to give it back.  Next time you want to throw your helmet, make sure your head is in it.

And finally, despite what management is trying to project, there is indeed a quarterback controversy in Philadelphia.  Since Andy Reid shipped McNabb off to Maryland and handed the job to Kevin Kolb, Kolb has managed to fall behind to the Packers and rattle his brain against his skull.  Stepping in to relieve him, Michael Vick (yes, that Michael Vick) lead a near comeback against Green Bay and orchestrated 35-points and a victory against Detroit this past Sunday.  Following the Eagles win, Reid stated he was returning the started job to Kolb for next Sunday.  About 24-hours later he reversed himself, now saying Vick will start instead.  I’ll wager two more waffles before game time on Sunday.

Mule or Ox, Same Difference

This theme of this week's football seems to have been stubbornness. My personal favorite (because it's funny, not because it was fun to watch) was the mulish devotion to kicking from the Bengals. Mike Nugent kicked FIVE field goals in their win over the Ravens (okay, maybe the Bengals weren't so much "being stubborn", as "unable to score").

The award for individual stubbornness coming back to bite a player in the butt has to go to Brett Favre. Brett continued to do his now-rote"will-I or won't-I retire" dance, in a shameless ploy to avoid training camp. At first, I argued in his favor. He's Brett Favre. Why on earth does he need to go to training camp? What could he possibly learn. Turns out, he might have learned how to handle the football. In two games, Favre has turned the ball over FIVE times, including one terrible fumble in his own endzone. And let's not forget the innumerable missed passes. Favre hasn't been playing like a Hall of Fame quarterback, he's been playing like a rookie who missed training camp.

Sure, there can be a positive side to being stubborn. Halfway through the third quarter, Houston was down to the Redskins 27 to 10. For most teams, that would be the end of it. Unless you're the Colts, or you're playing the Browns, most teams can't come back from three scores down. But the Texans stuck with it, buckled down, and scored 13 unanswered points to win in overtime. It's possible the Texans just might be for real (a Dallas/Houston Super Bowl would be this Texas girl's greatest dream come true).

But sometimes stubborn coaches lose games, too. As I've pointed out before, no one can lose like the Lions. This week was no exception. However, unlike last week, where they were robbed by the application of a ridiculous rule, this week they managed to lose through shockingly bad coaching. Imagine: The Lions are down 11 points, with 12 minutes left. They're at the 29 yard line. It's third down and a yard. Instead of letting the highly-accurate kicker take the field goal that THEY NEED ANYWAY, they stubbornly decide to go for it on fourth down, running the exact same play that had gained them no yards on third down. So now they're still behind by 11 points, and they've turned it over on downs.

Fastforward. It's the last two minutes of the game. Against all odds, the Lions have scored twice (including one two point conversion), held the Eagles to three and out, and have MIRACULOUSLY recovered an onside kick. The score is 35-32. There is 1:50 left in the game, and only 55 yards to the endzone. Instead of taking things careful and precise, like a logical and reasonable person might do, the Lions stubbornly decide to have a back up quarterback bomb it down the field twice, and miss two easy short passes, in less than 24 seconds, to once again turn the ball over on downs, and lose the game by a heartbreaking three points. Stubborn, and stupid.

And for yet another stubborn coaching decision, Andy Reid, coach of the Eagles, has decided to bench Michael Vick, who, despite what you might think of him personally, played an amazing game of football against the Lions (284 yds, 2 TDs, no turnovers) and had a pretty good game against the Packers the week before (even though the Eagles lost). Reid has given no explanation as to why he's benching a winning quarterback for the unproven Kevin Kolb. Maybe the stubborn is catching?

Badgering the witness

I watched the second half of the Wisconsin-Arizona St. game with a mixture of faint hope and impending dread. It was the perfect storm for the Badgers, who in their best seasons struggle against athletic opponents. The UW squad was playing against type by using the pass to loosen things up for the run, which historically has resulted in gaudy passing stats and few victories.

The Sun Devils athleticism was blatantly evident on special teams, where anything less than a kick-return touchdown was considered a victory for Bucky. An egregious end zone pass interference non-call coupled with a thirty-nine inch margin between the Sun Devils and twelve additional points gave the UW faithful palpitations on this national TV afternoon.

And yet, faced with an ASU team armed with Badger kryponite, the Badgers won the game. They stared down a team of bad matchups and found a way to win. Beleaguered special team units rose to the occasion when it mattered most, backups performed competently and, most importantly, they won a game they had every opportunity to lose.

The injury-riddled team that played today is not Rose Bowl bound, but this battered unit that won gives hope for healthier times against better opponents. We'll see what unfolds in Big Ten(11 soon to be 12) play.

We Deliver

Emerging in the midst of Clinton Portis' commentary about parcel inspection is news that Reggie Bush is returning his Heisman Trophy.

Whenever I hear about awards being returned, victories vacated or other retroactive reprimands, I wonder: What actually happens? In the case of Bush's Heisman, will it be delivered in person, or will he just ship it? Fedex or UPS? Regular Next Day or First Morning Delivery? Does he have to include the original packaging? Did it come in a too-tight box with Styrofoam clamshells and a desiccant package, or was it cocooned in bubble wrap and the ubiquitous foam pellets?

Back to Clinton Portis (like I could let that one go with just reference), his comments are yet another example that athletic prowess does not necessarily make you qualified to comment on other aspects of society (see also Reggie White and the Wisconsin State Legislature) or even your own profession. Women are going to be in the locker room-deal with it. Think it if you have to, but don't say it. Into a microphone. Being held by a working member of the media.

For reference.

This is what Tom Brady used to look like.




















And here's his Justin Bieber hair.




























I don't even know what to say.

The Moral of the Story

So, what did we learn from this opening week of football?

There are some teams which I am convinced are never going to learn how to be good. The Raiders can lose with any quarterback, and the Browns have the magical ability to squeak out a loss, even when it seems they might be able to win.

Speaking of pulling defeat from the hands of victory, the Lions just can't buy a win. Literally. No matter how many first round draft picks they get, and overpay, they invariably pick the wrong quarterback or receiver, or whatever. Yeah, I know, there was a bad call at the end, and Calvin Johnson was certainly robbed of a touchdown by a really bad rule, but they shouldn't have been in that position in the first place. The Bears just aren't that good.

It's possible, I admit, that I'm disgruntled with the Lions in large part because I hate Jay Cutler. I don't have a good reason, I guess, but I've always thought he was a whiny baby, who acted like a complete ass his last year in Denver, and I deeply want him to fail. The stupid Lions robbed me of that this week.

The Steelers and the Falcons should never be allowed to play again. That had to have been the most boring game I've ever watched. Or rather, NOT watched (thank God for Sunday Ticket).

Not boring, but also not GOOD, was the comedy of errors between the Carolina Panthers and the New York Football Giants. I don't remember ever seeing so much bumbling and fumbling. NINE turnovers. Matt Moore has as many turnovers (5) as games started. I'd be more amused if the Panthers weren't holding Steve Smith, an exciting and dynamic receiver, hostage to these increasingly terrible quarterbacks.

On the plus side, I was so happy to see the Seahawks win, even though Matt Hasselbeck freaked me out by throwing a pick on the first play of the game. And of course, even though it was a nail-biter, it always makes me happy to watch New Orleans win. The Packers won a surprisingly great game. The Texans pulled off a shocking upset, largely thanks to RB Arian Foster (Who? Had anyone heard of this guy before yesterday?). And Tom Brady let us all know that despite the baby mama drama, the pampered life, and Justin Bieber hair, when he picks up a football, he's still got that Tom Brady magic.

I need to remember the positives, so I don't forget that I still love football, even when the Cowboys end the day by breaking my heart. Let us never speak of this again.

So the moral of the story is, no matter what you think you knew about football from last year, and no matter what happens in the pre-season, anything can happen on any given Sunday (Thursday, Monday, and occasionally Saturday).

A Fan Speaks

Actual transcript from a conversation with a Michigan fan going to today's Wolverine-Irish game. We were in line at Taco Bell.
Me: How's your squad look this year?
Him: (brief pause) Sh*t.
Me: Oh...
Him: Yeah. Spread offense. (Shakes his head) Sh*t.
Me: Well...hope it dries off for you today.
Him: Thanks.

Lost in Translation

With a full slate of games on tap this opening weekend we here at 4FC would be remiss if we did not prepare our loyal readers (both of you) for the impending onslaught of pro football vernacular.

As broadcasters retool the English language whilst describing a skinny post or cross body block, other bits of verbage are presented as accepted football metaphor. We are not talking about John Madden's flights of onomatopoetic fancy but instead the sly phrase casually snuck into game commentary that seemingly indicates an "insider's" perspective. Meanings are often not readily apparent and at times seem counterintuitve and euphemistic. If the preceding was hard to read, imagine what it's like to listen to.

The following are actual game-spoken terms and phrases from NFL broadcast professionals:

"He's got game speed" Translation = Slow. This is usually reserved for players with other marketable talents who don't have a good 40 time. Fast runners with marginal football skills stand a better chance at making a roster than the other way around.

"Possession Receiver" Slow with good hands. This usually applies to assignment-sure route runners who can catch but can't run away from anyone, including the back judge. Really, isn't any receiving job by definition about possession? If your team's best wideout carries the "possession receiver" label, feel free to make vacation plans during the playoffs.

"You know what he is? A football player" Slow, and devoid of any other measurables that separate him from the pack but still manages to make a roster. Usually applied to to effort-and-heart type players, "throwback" players, (coming up shortly) and undersized personnel. Also used with the terms "intangibles" and "moxie".

"Student of the game" This can go two ways- 1) Smart, but not a great player/athlete. OR 2) A superlative piled on after having run out of other descriptors. "That Peyton Manning is such a student of the game."

"Can stretch the field" Fast, but can't catch. Often found on the Raiders' roster.

"Throwback" 1) High threshold of pain. OR 2) Physical bordering-on-dirty player.

"H-Back" An undersized tight end who lines up in unusual places. A classic example of a 'tweener' who's neither good enough to be a starting tight end or fullback.

"An excellent blocking tight end" A tight end who can't catch.

"An excellent receiving tight end" Tight end sized, but can't block and too slow to be a wideout.

"Kickoff specialist" Strong leg with poor accuracy.

"Prototypical Size for a (insert position here)" Underachiever. Often found on the Raiders roster.

"Speed Merchant" Limited receiving skills and/or marginal route runner. Often found on the Raiders roster.

"Solid Technician" No athletic skills. Also shows up as "knows every trick in the book," and is frequently heard when referring to aging offensive lineman.

And then there's this.

I'm betting that in Ron Artest-land, this is perfectly reasonable.

So, three things

Well, three things and a lizard. Oh. You don't watch Dr. Who? Um, never mind.

Anyway, like I was saying, Notre Dame won its first football game last weekend, and it actually looked fairly purposeful. The running game looked solid (and surprisingly fast--way to go Armando), Dane Crist didn't suck tremendously (did I ever tell you the story of how I met him at Chipotle?), and our kicker can still kick. The defense could have been more defensive, but it was good enough, and I'll take a win where I can get one. I'm not quite ready to crown Brian Kelly yet, but there's a glimmer of hope. Of course, their next game is against Michigan, so I guess we'll see if that glimmer is a fluke or not. It made me so happy, I bought a new Fighting Irish tee shirt.

It's not very charitable of me, but I'm really looking forward to the first time Tim Tebow gets sacked hard. Despite the fact that I'm biased toward the Broncos, because I've been to a Bronco's game, and I have a cute Bronco's tee shirt, I really hate Tebow, for many reasons, including, but not limited, to his hair, his commercials, his crying and his awful throwing mechanics. I don't respect quarterbacks who just coast through on natural talent, and aren't disciplined enough to learn the requisite skills. They rarely succeed, and almost always get into trouble (see, Ryan Leaf, Michael Vick and JaMarcus Russell).

I have a quandary for Sunday. I need to decide whether to wear my new Saints tee shirt, or my new Seahawks tee shirt. On the one hand, I have loved the Saints since the 90s, when they were bad, so I feel that their triumph is my triumph as well. But I did buy the Seahawks shirt at Qwest field, while vacationing in Seattle. Also, I'm kind of a sucker for the underdog, and I'm pretty sure the Seahawks are going to perpetually be underdogs (given their insistence on cutting players like Houshmanzadeh, for no discernible reason other than that he didn't play for USC).

And now for a random lizard. Because I have cable, I am blessed with an abundance of weird sports on the weekends. Mark and I have enjoyed Indian League cricket, women's indoor volleyball, the Stihl Lumberjack competition, and Scottish rugby (which I admit, I enjoyed quite a bit more than Mark. Two words: short shorts). This last week, we watched Rally Deutchland, which makes NASCAR look like 8-year-olds playing tiddleywinks. The roads have random (and often terrible) surfaces, skinny, curvy and sprinkled with hazards like vineyards, concrete curbs and pedestrians. And they careen down those ugly roads SO fast for three days straight. It is pretty much the coolest car racing I've ever seen. I've rarely been envious of a sport before, but I would give my left foot to be a rally driver. Except I'd probably need that foot to clutch.

Last Minute Lamentations

Okay, so I'm not going to lament anything.  I just like the alliteration.


Football starts in two days people.  Two days!  My final preseason thoughts are as follows:


I'm not ashamed to admit it.  For the past two years I have been completely and utterly wrong about Aaron Rodgers.  Yes, last year he had a nasty little habit of holding on to the football a little too long, but his pre-season play would seem to indicate he's cured himself of that.  Rodgers is every bit the gunslinger Brett Favre was, once upon a time.  He doesn't have Sterling Sharpe or Robert Brooks to throw to, but that doesn't seem to matter.  He manages to make do with guys named Greg and Donald, and even somebody named Jermichael.  I've heard at least one analyst predict a Packers / Ravens Super Bowl.  I don't know about the Ravens, but the odds on the Packers might be pretty good.


A couple days after being dumped by the Cardinals, Matt Leinart claims he is "very happy" to be the third string quarterback for the Houston Texans.  Umm, yeeeaaahhh.  Matt Leinart is lying.  Matt Leinart may be "very happy" to be employed, but he is certainly not "very happy" to be the third string quarterback for the Houston Texans.  Leinart is a Heisman Trophy winner, and for two glorious years he was king of Los Angeles.  Duke of Harris County just doesn't have the same ring to it.


Speaking of Heisman Trophy winners, rumor is that Reggie Bush may no longer be one.  Reports are that the Heisman committee has voted to strip Bush of the 2005 trophy after an investigation revealed he was in fact ineligible to play for USC that season.  Something about agents and improper gifts and things like that.  Is it me, or was USC a cesspool of athletic corruption for the first ten years of this century?  No wonder Pete Carroll caught the first train out of town he could find.


The Seattle Seahawks have opted to pay wide receiver T.J. Houshmanzadeh 7 million dollars to play for the Baltimore Ravens this year.  A sound business decision I'm sure.  For Baltimore.  Not only do the Ravens get Who's-yo-mama for nothing, they get to spend the seven million they would have spent on T.J. on something more fulfilling.  Dance lessons for Ray Lewis perhaps.  


The Rams have named first overall draft pick Sam Bradford their starting quarterback.  I think David Carr's rookie season sack record may be in jeopardy.


In a radio interview early this week, Randy Moss told listeners that he feels "unwanted" by the Patriots.  Moss is entering the final year of his contract and New England has yet to offer him an extension.  Relax Randy.  It's not that they don't want you.  They just don't want to pay you.  And it's not just you, they don't want to pay anybody.  That's how the system works in New England.  You give them everything you've got and they trade you to the Raiders.  Seriously, Tom Brady won three Super Bowls in four years for the Patriots and they STILL haven't paid him.  It's okay though.  I hear the Bengals will take any aging receiver and pay them millions, whether they actually play or not.


Finally, there's been plenty of talk over the past couple weeks about the worst NFL draft pick in history.  At the top of nearly everyone's list was Ryan Leaf.  Yes, you all remember Ryan Leaf.  And since you remember Ryan Leaf, you know why he is widely considered the worst draft pick in history.  But I'd like to argue for someone else.  I'd like to nominate one JaMarcus Russell, formerly of the Oakland Raiders.  Sure, Leaf's statistics are abysmal; only 25 games played (21 of those started), 14 touchdowns against 36 interceptions, a 48% completion percentage and a quarterback rating of 50.0.  But Russell's stats are almost as pathetic; 18 touchdowns to 23 interceptions, a 52% completion percentage, a quarterback rating of 65.2 and 15 lost fumbles.  But what sets Russell apart was his contract.  Russell was signed to a 68 million dollar contract, 31.5 million of which was guaranteed.  That was double the total contract and just short of TRIPLE the money guaranteed to Ryan Leaf.  Dollar for dollar, JaMarcus Russell is the biggest bust in draft history.

Final Cutdown Day

It's here. The annual NFL take-out-the trash day followed by a frienzied dumpster-diving to fill out practice squads. ("I didn't really mean to throw that awa....heeeyyyy, can you believe Kansas City's getting rid of this?")

The grand adventure begins after teams' final preseason games. A thirty-two hand poker game breaks out as clubs try to trade their surplus talent rather than giving it away via roster cuts. Buyers do some serious tire kicking before a few crap-for-crap or draft pick transactions go down. Any time a seventh round pick is involved, the buyer is essentially saying, "if we could give you less, we would," while player-for-player trades offer false hope ("can you believe we got someone for TONY MOLL?") followed by modest-to-significant disappointment with the new personnel.

Most teams end up trolling the waiver wire. Talent-rich teams cross their fingers that the players earmarked for the practice squad slip through while needy and injury-riddled teams line up at the buffet table. Over six hundred players will be cut by 5:00 p.m. EDT Sept 4. A lot of talent is available for a low investment, but, informercial-style, is only available for a short time as teams begin signing players to the practice squad on September 5. Teams can still poach players from other teams practice squads during the regular season, but that player must stay on the claiming team's 53 man roster for the entire season. No such restriction exists for cutdown players.

As for the Packers: Contrary to published reports by professional sports writers, I don't see the Pack going with three fullbacks again this year and expect Kregg Lumpkin to stick. With Spencer Havner and the other backup tight ends on the roster, why keep Quinn Johnson? Johnson's a road-grader but doesn't do much else or play special teams. Use a tight end as the extra fullback and at least have a receiving threat out of the backfield. Still not a Sam Shields fan, but it looks like he'll be on the roster, as will Frank Zombo. I'm going with Masthay in the punter derby.

Spencer Havner sidebar: Havner's versatility and on-field trifecta (offense, defense, special teams) triggered a memory of some cheeky mid-90's Chicago sports radio personalities who dubbed Bears running back Raymont Harris the "ultraback" for reasons that still elude me. Yes, Harris did have a thousand yard rushing season in 1997 and could catch the ball out of the backfield reasonably well, but unless he contributed in a way that doesn't show in the stat sheet (grounds crew, assistant trainer) "ultraback" is a waste of a great nickname on a pedestrian player. There is an appropriate name for Harris' abilities and accomplishments: Professional NFL Running Back.

And now I have to come up with something else for Havner.

Nostalgia

I already miss the Olympics. Stumbled across these the other day. Enjoy the memories. (Images originally taken from Boston.com)

I live in Indiana. I can only imagine waking up to this view every morning.

The Flying Tomato. Flying.

Simon Ammann. For the wife.

I still can't believe people do this.

That's going to leave a mark.

Two words. Curling MILF. Deal with it.

Girls just wanna have fun. And win gold medals. And smoke cigars.

...and finally, Legend, thy name is Crosby.