Rearranging the Deck Chairs

In a move sure to spur flagging season-ticket sales in the nation's capitol, the Washington Wizards have unveiled new uniforms that harken back to the teams glory years of Moses Malone, Wes Unseld and Truck Robinson. Okay, Truck Robinson may be a reach.

Uniform changes are usually a very non-basketball reaction to decidedly basketball problems. Not much can be done about bad contracts and a dearth of draft picks, but fashion consultants don't adversely impact salary caps and provide very visible results. Plus, the loyal fans are sure to buy the latest unis (line up for your Cartier Martin jersey now!) in home, away and alternate colors. Essentially the GM is saying, "Look, I'm really sorry about Gilbert Arenas, which is why we're now stuck with Rashard Lewis and his contract, but it's not like we're doing nothing here!"

Honestly, I didn't think the Wizards current jerseys were all that bad, except for the gold alternates that appear to be borrowed The Ohio Players circa 1974. There are number of more offensive unis currently in use (looking at you, Phoenix Suns). Bucks fans have no standing to complain about other teams duds after wearing those purple things for the better part of the 1990s, unless its the 76ers unis from the early 1990s which were apparently patterned after Mary Lou Retton's Olympic Games outfit.

Some NBA teams have thankfully not messed with a good thing (Spurs, Lakers) while others flounder in uniform mediocrity (Nets, Clippers). Am I the only one who misses Denver's mountain jerseys? I am also quite fond of the Warrior's alternates with the cable car. Don't even get me started on fonts.

Your All-Time Team

The rules: Pick your all-time 25-man roster for your favorite MLB team. You can only use players you actually saw/heard play. No picking Mickey Mantle unless you saw him on the field or in a live-broadcast game. Also, we'll assume you're getting the player at his peak while wearing your team's uniform, but not if he achieved greatness for another team and your club picked him up after he joined the MLB Seniors Tour. Since I'm doing the Cubs I could put Nomar Garciaparra on the team, but I'm getting the injury-riddled Nomar who played about six games over two seasons in Cubbie blue, not the All-Star Red Sox version.

As a long-suffering Chicago Cubs fan, I submit for your inspection my all-time Cubs roster. My earliest Cubs memory is listening to some bad teams in the late '70s and going to a game at Wrigley in '78 or '79 where Bill Buckner homered and Dave Kingman struck out. Neither of them made my squad.

Andy's All-Time Cubs Roster 1978-present:

Starting Pitchers: (5)

1. Greg Maddux (Could there be anyone else in the No. 1 starter slot?)

2. Ferguson Jenkins (Saw him on his second tour of duty in 1982-83, which is kind of a loophole here, as the earlier Jenkins is the one I picture starting.)

3. Rick Sutcliffe (The 1984 version, preferably.)

4. Carlos Zambrano (On his meds.)

5. Rick Reuschel (Look up the stats - he pitched well for a lot of bad teams.)

Relief pitchers (6)

6. Lee Smith - Closer. (The venerable Lee Arthur narrowly edges the next guy...)

7. Bruce Sutter - Setup. (He went on to great things in St. Louis after Mr. Wrigley refused to pay him, but still put up some great years at Wrigley.)

8. Carlos Marmol (Still a work in progress.)

9. Terry Mulholland (Did whatever the team needed. I think he also drove the bus.)

10. Paul Assenmacher (A solid lefty out of the 'pen.)

11. Les Lancaster (If you can come up with anyone better, let me know.)

Catchers (2)

12. Jody Davis (Jodeee.....Jodeee Davissss. Had a gun for an arm and could hit for power.)

13. Michael Barrett (This is not one of the stronger positions on this roster.)

Infielders (6)

14. 1B - Mark Grace (Not-so-narrowly edging out Leon Durham.)

15. 2B - Ryne Sandberg (Who else?)

16. SS - Shawon Dunston (The Shawon-o-Meter says...)

17. 3B- Aramis Ramirez (Either him or Ron Cey, and Aramis has played better for longer.)

18. UT-Manny Trillo (Another two-tour player.)

19. UT-Jose Hernandez (You try selecting the best utility player!)

Outfielders (6)

20. Andre Dawson (Who else?)

21. Sammy Sosa (He sends Brett Favre a fruit basket each month for making people forget his ugly departure from the Cubs.)

22. Moises Alou (Don't shake hands.)

23. Juan Pierre (One season's worth, but it was a good one. Besides, the Cubs have had a LOT of mediocre CFs since the late '70s.)

24. Keith Moreland (Playing the utility card here, as Moreland could also catch, play first, and stand near third base.)

25. Henry Rodriguez (Best I could do for number 6 outfielder.)

So there you have it. Some distinguished names, some not. Some good memories, more depressing ones.