The Moral of the Story

So, what did we learn from this opening week of football?

There are some teams which I am convinced are never going to learn how to be good. The Raiders can lose with any quarterback, and the Browns have the magical ability to squeak out a loss, even when it seems they might be able to win.

Speaking of pulling defeat from the hands of victory, the Lions just can't buy a win. Literally. No matter how many first round draft picks they get, and overpay, they invariably pick the wrong quarterback or receiver, or whatever. Yeah, I know, there was a bad call at the end, and Calvin Johnson was certainly robbed of a touchdown by a really bad rule, but they shouldn't have been in that position in the first place. The Bears just aren't that good.

It's possible, I admit, that I'm disgruntled with the Lions in large part because I hate Jay Cutler. I don't have a good reason, I guess, but I've always thought he was a whiny baby, who acted like a complete ass his last year in Denver, and I deeply want him to fail. The stupid Lions robbed me of that this week.

The Steelers and the Falcons should never be allowed to play again. That had to have been the most boring game I've ever watched. Or rather, NOT watched (thank God for Sunday Ticket).

Not boring, but also not GOOD, was the comedy of errors between the Carolina Panthers and the New York Football Giants. I don't remember ever seeing so much bumbling and fumbling. NINE turnovers. Matt Moore has as many turnovers (5) as games started. I'd be more amused if the Panthers weren't holding Steve Smith, an exciting and dynamic receiver, hostage to these increasingly terrible quarterbacks.

On the plus side, I was so happy to see the Seahawks win, even though Matt Hasselbeck freaked me out by throwing a pick on the first play of the game. And of course, even though it was a nail-biter, it always makes me happy to watch New Orleans win. The Packers won a surprisingly great game. The Texans pulled off a shocking upset, largely thanks to RB Arian Foster (Who? Had anyone heard of this guy before yesterday?). And Tom Brady let us all know that despite the baby mama drama, the pampered life, and Justin Bieber hair, when he picks up a football, he's still got that Tom Brady magic.

I need to remember the positives, so I don't forget that I still love football, even when the Cowboys end the day by breaking my heart. Let us never speak of this again.

So the moral of the story is, no matter what you think you knew about football from last year, and no matter what happens in the pre-season, anything can happen on any given Sunday (Thursday, Monday, and occasionally Saturday).